2015 – A Thanksgiving Odyssey

I would be remiss in my duties as a writer if I didn't scribble a little something about Thanksgiving and what I'm thankful for. There are the usual things of course; kids, family, job, place to live, food, and that sort of thing. When I really got to contemplating the notion of what made me happy and what I was I gave the most thanks for, it had to be my wife.

I've heard plenty of young men say how hard it is to find a good woman. There was a time when I might have agreed with them. What I figured out over the course of some really hard living was that good woman weren't actually hard to find at all...if you're a good man.

I wasn't always a good man. I thought I was but the reality was slightly different. I fought, boozed, womanized, and thought only of myself for a good part of my life. I met my bride when I was neck deep into living that life. She liked me anyway. She was young too and I guess that whole “bad boy” thing was attractive to her. Now my advice to woman that are attracted to bad boys is that they might be a whole lot of fun to hang around with but they make for terrible husbands. No, you can't change them either. Despite your best efforts a person can only change when they decide it's time...but that's the subject of another discussion.

She and I dated briefly and married, bought a house and mashed ourselves into a life that neither one of us was probably ready for. I knew she was the one when I met her so I was pretty dedicated going in. Now I could tell a lot of stories about those early years together. If you know me on any personal level you've heard one or two of them. The point here is that marriage takes a ton of work and wives are the foundations that the relationship is built on. My wife gave me her heart and her dedication and trusted me to make the right decisions and guide our family in the right direction. Unfortunately that didn't happen al the time. In fact, I made a ton of bad moves and took us into some pretty mirky waters. Despite this, she stuck it out with me. Over and over again she forgave, reset, and started over.

Years went by. I spent a lot of those years concerned with my own agenda and my own needs. When a man is that selfish, he slowly kills his wife's spirit. If it goes on long enough she becomes a shell of herself and he's the one that did it. All woman want to love and be loved. They want their men focused, affectionate, and kind. I was none of those things but still she stayed. Honestly, our faith is the only thing that held the fabric of our tattered relationship in one piece.

There came a point where she had reached her limit and basically told me she was going to move on to greener pastures. That's what it took for me. I knew she meant it and I had to decide what was important to me. I took a inventory of who I was, where I was, and what I believed. I knew something had to give so I started to make some changes. Hard ones at first but they paid great dividends so I kept doing them. I worked on our relationship...and worked...and worked some more. It took time but I think I finally became the man I was supposed to be. Things got better then things go better some more.

A long suffering woman is a gift from God. I'm thankful for my wife. I'm thankful for the life she has built with me, our children, and the unending supply of love she has showered me with over the course of our relationship.

 I haven't deserved any of it.

 I'm thankful we don't always get what we deserve.

I love you Kim.

I'm thankful for you.

The Genius in Us All

I read an article this morning that warned that the tech bubble was about to burst again. It spoke of billion dollar valuations and unicorn companies and a bunch of other things that I found interesting. I’m a fan of innovation and creativity. Makers of things and dreamers of big dreams drive my sense of what can be and help me to dream my own dreams. Now how many of these “unicorn” companies are actually making a difference remains to be seen. From what I read, they aren’t actually producing any profits for their investors but are fixated on expanding their reach…for their products…that aren’t actual products…that don’t actually do anything to make anything better <insert bursting sound here>.

There is a saying that goes “iron sharpens iron.” To me it means that one person enhances another with their interactions. Hopefully it’s in a positive way. Someone told me that people want to matter.  That gave me a moment to pause and contemplate the significance of that statement. I think I understand it on the surface but when I boil it down I realize that I want to matter, you want to matter. We all are looking for the same things. We all ask ourselves the same questions about why we are here and what my purpose is. We find the answers to those questions by our interactions with one another. We sharpen one another by the sharing of information and experience. The true answers to those questions are answered in working with others toward some common good or reaching a shared goal.

I run into people every single day that have no idea how a lot of the gadgets in their homes work. They have no idea how you type it on the screen and the screen answers back. I met a young man in his early 20’s that had no idea how to change the SSID or password for his router. I was thunderstruck. In this day and age, I would expect him to be schooling me. I’ve seen that particular scenario repeated over and over again during the course of my day. In my dreams I think mankind should be pushing out into space but most of the people in my experience can’t perform the simplest of functions on their own computers. We’re not going to get to Mars like that. The solution to me is pretty straight forward. Educate one person, then another, and another. The hope being is that at some point in your exercise in self replication will take on exponential growth…iron sharpening iron.

It’s the small stuff that really matter. I lose sight of that when I’m dreaming my big dreams. Dreams and ideas stay exactly that until you start to actuate them…when you start to move toward what you want. One person at a time is greater than zero; every time.  My goal for the week is to teach one person one thing. Simple. Doesn’t matter what it is just as long as it happens daily. Building on the small blocks makes the larger forms and with larger forms come larger dreams. More and more people getting in the mix to work the impossible. That’s how we will grow as a species. That’s how we get to Mars…it’s how the big dreams become the future.

“Just keep swimming” – Dory

FIN