Musings Of A Middle Aged Man on His Birthday

Musing of a Middle Aged Man on his Birthday

I turned 49 today. I remember when I was 20 and I couldn't wait to turn 21 so I could drink everywhere even though the drinking age was 19 at the time. It didn't matter, it's one of those milestone ages. I remember 30 and 40 as being relatively uneventful blips on my time line. I can also remember being 10 and my grandmother telling me not to be in such a hurry to grow up. What did she know? She was old and being older was the greatest thing on the planet. So here I sit on the ledge of the second half of my life.

I always get kinda weird around birthdays. I think too much anyway but I put it in overdrive when another year clicks off. I start asking myself the really good questions like what have I done with my life? Have I made any progress over the last year? What will I do with the next year and what will become of that? Being painfully self aware is a mother trucker.

I was looking at some pictures of my version 1 kids when they were teens and then looking over at my version 2 kids. The v1 kids were teens yesterday. I mean it seems like yesterday. That's how fast it happened. I look at v2.1 and v2.2 and realized that I'll be 64 when V2.1 is 20. That'll be tomorrow. What will I do with the next 15 years of my life to reach my goal of changing the world and making my mark on mankind?

I have to finish that degree I've been fooling around with for the last 10 years or so. I had some dumb luck in my life and some of it got me distracted. I had this whole pipe dream thing going on about how I was going to do my 30 and sit at home tinkering around the garage for the rest of my life. Terrible idea really but it made sense at the time. Having had the opportunity to “sit around” for a while really put things in perspective. I keep saying that I'm too old and that I don't want to borrow the money, stuff like that. My better half explains to me why that is ridiculous through story after story. She tells me about the woman she knows that came here from the middle east where the only way one went to college was a lottery system. To her the US is the greatest place on earth..."I can go to college and I can borrow money to go? Sign me up." The story of the 53 year old woman that went to nursing school (when the wife was a student) and graduated and went on to the career in the medical field she always wanted. No my wife doesn't want to hear about why I'm too old to go to college or why borrowing money to do so is dumb. She's tired of listening to me bitch and wants me to be happy. Really good wives are a very precious thing.

Short term goal. Get back to Columbia Southern and work on a couple classes while I get geared up to go back to University. It may take a while to get where I need to be but as long as I'm heading that way, it's all good. You can work a dead end job for crappy money if there is light a the end of the tunnel. There isn't any reason why anyone should be doing nothing. Life is just too damn short.

Happy Birthday self, now get your ass in gear.

Vegetables Need Not Apply

I started my journey into juicing with the intention of writing about it on a daily basis. It hasn’t worked out that way. The main reason being things happened too fast to keep up with for the most part. I’ve lost a couple of pounds almost every day but as the experiment went on the whole process became less about losing weight and more about nutrition and the food that we put into our bodies.

I have spent some time watching documentaries on the subject of food and how it’s produced: “Knives Over Forks,” “GMO OMG,” etc. These shows have had a profound effect on how I look at the food that I have spent my whole life eating. They have shined a light on how food in this country is now being produced and how it is engineered to be consumed in great quantities. You hear that there is an obesity epidemic in this country…I would suggest it’s almost been manufactured by the large food companies.

Most of the food that the average American consumes is processed in some way. If it’s processed, you can pretty much guarantee that it has lost most if not all of its nutritional value. The result of this is a body starved for the real nutrients that it needs to function and it constantly nagging that it’s hungry. It is hungry but on a cellular level. This produces a cycle. You eat, stay hungry and eat some more. You eat foods that are high in fat and sugar and that are converted to fat almost the minute they hit your stomach. You are then bombarded with media telling you that meat has protein, eggs are filled with omega 3 (which you HAVE to have), and that milk builds bones. All of those statements are true on some level I guess but when you peel back the layer of bullshit you realize that you don’t need nearly as much as meat as you think you do (palm of your hand sized about once a week if at all), eggs that come from commercial chicken farms are loaded GMO’s and a bunch of other stuff your probably could do without, and milk is not the cure for osteoporosis but can be the source. Now I know what you’re thinking, I live in Oregon, we just legalized pot, and I must be smoking it in great amounts. Nothing could be further from the truth. All the data is out there…reams of it. I would suggest you go find out for yourself. If you want the short version watch a documentary called “Fat, Sick, and Nearly Dead” by a guy named Joe Cross. It’s where it started for me. He keeps it simple and is a great jumping off place.

The recommended amount of fruits and vegetables that should be consumed is 7 servings of veggies and 5 services of fruits. If you pile all those greens up you can see really quickly why juicing is such a cool alternative. It makes consuming all those greens a lot more manageable. I started doing a 10 day juice only fast. I am on day 7 as of this writing and I have consumed nothing but juice and water over the course of those 7 days. When the fast comes to its conclusion I plan on going on a plant based diet. I am still on the fence about dairy but I feel like I will most likely move away from that as well. If you have every had a meal with me and watched me throw a beat down on a plate of pasta or a rare steak you should really question what would get someone like me in this mind set. There must be something to it. There is: it works and it just makes sense.

Should you choose to try this experiment yourself let me give you a couple pointers that might help you. First, it’s hard initially. Not going to lie, your body is filled with junk and getting it out can be painful. The good news is that it won’t last. By day 3 you should be feeling much better. You should juice about 4 times a day (every 4 hours or so). You consume about 12 – 14 ozs in each instance. I know it doesn’t sound like a lot but you would be surprised how much mileage you get out of it. Juicers aren’t cheap. I paid $150 for mine and its middle of the road. Do your homework but I would suggest you go lower end (around $100) until you decide if it’s something you plan on doing long term. Check Craiglist for deals. I was really surprised how many people were selling juicers and I wish I would have started there first instead of Sears. Juicing isn’t cheap either. Produce, depending on the time of year, can be costly. If you go organic the costs can go even higher. Don’t stress about organic initially. Buy what you can afford and just stay with it. My go to juice is something called a "Mean Green." It gives me lots of energy and its relatively inexpensive to produce. As you educate yourself you can make your own decision as to where, what kind, and how much. The juicing part is really easy. There isn’t a whole lot of prep for the food. Most things that can be juiced go in whole. Things like oranges get peeled but that’s about it. The cleanup is pretty straight forward and easy.

On the upside you will start to feel better almost immediately. Over the course of a week you will find that your skin, hair, and nails get clearer and stronger. In my case, I found that my concentration and memory functions improved significantly. Lots and lots of energy: the kind that I could never get drinking energy drinks or gallons of coffee. I feel like I did 20 years ago physically. My joints stopped hurting and I found that my general overall outlook and attitude improved a truck load. I haven’t had heartburn since I started which means the omeprazole magnesium that I was taking every day is no longer necessary. The physical benefits have been significant enough that I have to really wonder what’s going on with the food. It needs closer scrutiny but that’s the topic for another rant.

So what are you waiting for? Don’t believe me? Try it for yourself. It requires a mindset. Mine came from education. Learning what was really going on in my body as it relates to the food I eat. There’s a lot there to process but if you start with small bites, you can finish the elephant.

For A Fan

You only go around this big marble once so you better do your best to suck every ounce of juice from it that you can. My life hasn’t been without excitement. I would say I’ve lived well. I haven’t always done the right thing but I’ve tried to keep my moral compass pointed north for the most part. I haven’t always lived well though. I spent 14 years of my life working the same job and the last 7 of those years hating every minute of it. In this day and age that type of longevity on a job can be seen as a good thing: dedication to a company full of devotion and a bunch of other stuff that doesn’t matter in the real world.

When that chapter of my life closed, I made a decision to make a fundamental change in my life. I chose to do something hard. I moved. I moved as far away from where I was as I could without leaving the country. I came to Oregon and man have I changed. I came to a place of singular beauty and unlike anyplace I have ever seen. I have met people that are so much different than I am I still can’t get my head all the way around it. I’ve learned to not judge and to embrace the bizarre. I’ve learned to be accepting of other people’s culture and celebrate their difference as well as be enriched by their personalities. I have brought my family to a place that will enable them to reach their full potential. I want to reach my full potential as well. It takes a shit-ton of hard work and truck loads of guts. You should reach yours too.

What is the one thing you always wanted to do or be? That’s the first question you should be asking yourself. That was a hard one for me. I find it’s difficult for a lot of people so I don’t sweat it. I like to fix things, all kinds of things, machines of every shape and size. I love the way electricity smells in the air. The way metal smells when it’s being melted, grinded, or filed. Creating something out of a pile of parts…something from nothing. I love computers and electronics: the merger of art and science. I guess that is the stuff of Engineering but when I think of it I see myself looking at a pile of used things and re-purposing them to be useful again. It’s my way of reclaiming things that have been discarded and using them for good once more.

My dream is to create machines that take dirty laundry to the washer. To make a way for elder people to remain independent for as long as they want. Creating machines and technologies for the rest of us. Making things and not being concerned with the bottom line. To pay people that work on my stuff a wage they can support their families on. To train people off the street to do highly skilled jobs. To help them kick their addictions and give them a roof, food, and a purpose. I’m not interested in being rich. If I woke up rich tomorrow it wouldn’t change a whole lot about my life though I would like to own my airplane and that’s just because I hate to fly. Having my own bird would take a lot of the anxiety out of the equation. Other than that, I don’t need a fancy car, a big house, or a bunch of people kissing my ass. It’s just not who I am.

We all need a purpose in this life. I believe we were all created with a purpose in mind. Unfortunately a good many of us never realize what that purpose is. We spend our time living grey lives and hoping our day will end as soon as possible so we can have a break until our next bleak moment. Then it’s over. Your light goes out and you have nothing to show for the time you were given on this earth. Spend your time wisely. It’s the only commodity on this planet that has any real value. It’s finite and not replenishable. Use it well; use it to its fullest. Doing hard things is hard but that doesn’t mean they shouldn’t be done. You will fail. It will happen. It’s how you handle the failure that defines your character. Always be true to your calling and never EVER quit.

Black Friday: When CEO's Dream

Black Friday: When CEO’s Dream

Black Friday (henceforth referred to as BF) has been an institution in this country for as long as I can remember. In short, it’s is a termed used by retailers to refer to the fact that their businesses go into the “black” meaning they are actually making money. For many retailers, it’s the holiest day of the year. A day CEO’s lay on their sold gold pillows dreaming, safe in the  knowledge that their yearend bonuses are secure…yes, let us sleep easy.

There used to be rules for BF. It was on Friday, the day after Thanksgiving; not Thanksgiving Day, not Wednesday, not Midnight…it was Friday…period. People spent a few hours on Friday taking advantage of deals and getting ramped up for the Christmas shopping season. Maybe have some lunch with a good friend. There were no long lines of people that had been camped out for up to twelve hours before a store opened to buy televisions, tablets, and computers.

In time, retailers figured out that people had become so entrenched in a consumer culture that they figured out ways to make them crazy over things they didn’t really need and could find at different times of the year if they were savvy and paying attention. People had slid into a mentality that their loved ones, particularly their small children, absolutely had to have the newest and greatest item made in China for the low low price of $99.95. I remember Teddy Ruxpin and Cabbage Patch Dolls. People actually fist fighting in stores over the scant supply of these dolls that ended up in landfills five minutes after Johnny and Suzy grew tired of them. Just so you know, kids could care less about such things. Their attention spans are short and if you give them sticks and string just for giggles, you would be amazed what they can do with them.

We are seeing Christmas come earlier and earlier with each passing year. We have become so spoiled as a culture, we think we have the right to mindlessly consume and discard. It’s the new normal. In doing so we have watched our jobs go overeas, our economy go in the toilet, and we have become a debtor nation. It’s a long way from The Declaration of Independence. For me, I choose to push away from the table. I will not be participating in the gluttonous consumer orgy that is Black Friday. My children will have a low end Christmas consisting of a few items. I will teach them that family is what matters and what they should be paying attention to and that they should be thankful what they have. We will have out feasts and if you’re one of the fortunate, you will receive one inexpensive gift from me. If you’re really fortunate, you will get a call from me on Christmas Day wishing you a Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year.

The Growth Principle

The Growth Principle

I wrote a pretty inflammatory essay a couple nights ago that I was going to post tonight but the more I stew on it, the more it comes off like senseless bitching. I’ve spent too many years bitching I think. I’ll save it for another day maybe. I have my days when I get mad about things that have happened to me. I want to extract a pound of flesh from those that have done me wrong. My long game plan is to make a billion dollars and then go hire them for double what they are making now and put them to task doing menial things. You now, cleaning toilets, getting my dry cleaning, and walking my dog. I know it’s mean spirited. I never said I was perfect and I am still working on being humble as the dust. It’s a life’s work so cut me some slack.

The reason I decided to sit on it was you really; the two or three of you that read my ramblings. I read the things you post and I know you feel the same things that I feel. There are a lot of you that have been wronged and been discarded. You've given years of your life to some entity just to be thrown out with the trash when you’re no longer useful or compatible. Most of you don’t bitch (at least not to me). I’ve had conversations with one or two of you where I can start to draw it out of you but at the end you back away. You’re bigger people then me. You guys are the ones I look to when I’m getting left of center, when I want to really drive a stake through someone’s heart and for that I thank-you. It inspires me to try and better myself.

I was out on TV Hwy (real street) on a quest with my wife for the perfect curtains for the living room. So we’re out and about and I start seeing places that sell firewood. I have a fireplace in my new apartment but spending three to five dollars on a bundle of wood is not particle long term. I’ve been on the lookout for a full cord of wood that someone will bring to the house. It’s done here; I just haven’t found the perfect place. So we stop at a spot that has half cords I get out and start walking around. This older Hispanic lady comes up to me and I start asking her about the firewood. She’s doing a lot of nodding. I’ve been overseas and I know when the person I’m talking to doesn’t have any idea what I’m saying. Eventually she puts me on the phone with someone and she says “speaks English.” We get back in the car and we decide we really need to learn Spanish. There is a very heavy Hispanic community here and learning Spanish would benefit both of us and our children. Something as simple as learning to speak Spanish can be the one thing that pushes me towards being a more well rounded individual and will by default, help me grow; enriching my life and the lives of those around me.

It’s all about growth at the end of the day. We are only as old as we let ourselves become. When we stop moving forward and stop learning I think we begin to die. Holding on to the past helps us die faster too…I’m trying guys, I really am.

For you Mark, under 600 words.

The Cable gods Are Not Happy
 
I recently read a article <Consumers Hate Cable Companies> about how cable television companies were one of the most hated businesses according to consumers. I can relate having been on both sides of the line. Recently I moved to new apartment that did not have the wonderful fiber pipe I had in my old place. I was faced with a couple of choices; get new service with Comcast, get new service with ATT, or transfer and downgrade my existing service to DSL with a 8x1 pipe for lack of fiber. I won't do business with ATT just on principle. They have had this country in a choke hold since Bell invented the damn thing. Their customer service is crap and they couldn't care less about their customers (from my experience anyway). Comcast has one of the worse reputations on the street for customer service and is universally hated by everyone I've ever asked. Just for fun I called to find out about some of their data packages. My good friend Tyrone (his real name) was not a wealth of information. He was able to tell me about a 40 meg download package but when I asked him what the upload speed was and he had no idea. He had to Google it (he told me that while I waited it was 10 megs just so you know). The service was priced at 44.99 for 12 months then went up to 59.99 and then would settle at 64.99 which he tells me is the regular price. He never was able to explain to me how we went from 59.99 to 64.99 and I felt further inquiries weren't necessary so we moved on. I then asked him if I wanted to move forward, what sort of installation windows did they have available. He told me he would have to build the work order and then see if maybe he could get into the billing system. He informed me that since they were in the middle of a merger, they were running two systems side by side. “It might work maybe” was the best he could do. He also told me there would be a installation charge ranging from 19.99 to 39.99 depending on where I lived...Oh, and he would also need my social to run a credit check to determine if a deposit was necessary. I thanked him for his time and we ended the call. Fun fact, the Comcast/Time Warner merger is still being reviewed by the FCC. Now Tyrone might have had access to information that I don't and carelessly let the cat out of the bag but I kinda doubt. Tyrone was probably some pour underpaid rep with little or no training that was just trying to make a few bucks for himself. I can't fault him for that.

In fairness a lot of this is standard stuff. Credit checks are something thats been going on for several years. I'm sure some high level management type could explain it to me but the words “its pointless and just another way to keep you away from our service” will never come out of his/her's mouth. Installation charges aren't uncommon either. It costs about 110 bucks to roll a truck to a location. Gotta make your money somewhere. The main fault here is that Tyrone didn't have his shit together. I mean the way he handled my call was clumsy. He didn't seem all that interested in getting me on as a new customer. That's all fine and good. Tyrone didn't have any skin in the game. He was probably being paid minimum wage and working for some third party call center that has Comcast as a client. Believe me, I've seen behind the curtain at Xerox. They answer the phones for Nextel. These are sadest places that make me think of what a prison galley might have looked like. Lots of hollowed out empty eyes, no real motivation, and a yearning to do something else. I actually had one of the ass-hate supervisors brag about how he had been there five years. It isn't something I'd be bragging about but thats me.

So that brings me to Frontier Cable. They are a small cable outfit that I have had service with for about a year. They had fiber to premises service where I lived which I had never seen before. Let me say, it was super fast, never went down, and I loved it. I only had to call them twice in a year and both times my calls were handled like I would expect them to be. I guess the only thing I would say about the installation on that place was the tech that did the install didn't even pull out his meter until I asked to see it. He had no light meter or any other diagnostic equipment. When I was a tech we called it “plug and pray” short for plug it in and pray that it works. In this case it did and I had no issues.

Fast forward to a week ago when I'm transferring my service to this new place. No, there is no fiber here (Sorry keep beating that drum) but yes they can service me with a 20x10 pipe. Well that ain't what I want but I'll take anything so as not to have to get in bed with Comcast. Sure, sign me up. It'll be about a week before they can get to me. Not great but I understand. The day before the install someone calls me up to say that they can't give me the 20 meg circuit, there aren't enough ports and the best they can do is 8x1. Well shit, says I, that sucks. So I started asking some technical questions: so this is DSL? How far from the CO am I, stuff like that...guy has no clue what I'm talking about. I give up. He says, well we can just have the tech drop the modem off so you don't have to wait around all day. It's called a fast connect where I come from and usually I would be ok with that. I start saying things like this is wired with CAT3...upload/download stuff...he's like whoooa Mr Customer, you own the wiring, we'll make sure its good to the NID. I'm like yea, I know about demarcation but this is a apartment complex and the likelihood of me getting a wiring upgrade are zero. I want a guy to come in, hook it up and make sure it works. I'll take it from there. Fine he says.

So the next day I'm excited because I haven't had Internet in a week. Even crappy service is better than no service right? I'm set up for a 9am – 1pm time slot. So I wait...and wait...and wait. Its noon now I make my first call. Hey there, are we still on for this install...yes sir Mr Customer he must just be running behind. Ok, says I, I been on the other end of it so I know things can get backed up. Its 3pm now. No call no tech. My second call...yes sir, Mr Customer, we're running behind. Let me give the tech a call and see what's going on....so he puts me on hold and I wait...and wait...and wait. Sorry about the hold Mr Customer, I left the tech a voice mail to give you a call with a update. I'm like well now shit...I know that one. Things are starting to not look so hot. So now it's 6pm. No call no tech no nothing. So I make call number 3. 33 minutes later this nice lady up in Washington named Wendy tells me well Mr Customer looks like your install got pushed till tomorrow. They left you a automated message to number xxx xxx xxxx....Im like thats the wrong number. Shes like, oh guess that's why you didn't get it. I ask her if its common to push work orders till the next day. She says sometimes it happens. I can remember living in a world back in the late 90's early 2000's when we did stuff like that. It wasn't like that when I left I can assure you. She says she'll call me in the am and make everything right. She was nice enough to wave the 9 dollar activation fee. Thanks, I appreciate that. Will she follow through? I'll be really impressed if she does.

This is the kind of stuff that drives customers insane. I'm being easy because I worked in the business for 14 years and have seen all aspects of it. I know what happens when things are busy, your short handed and over loaded. However this stuff happens on a large scale and across all markets and all companies. That suggests to me that something is broken. When I was in the field I took a whole lot of pride in the work I did. I appreciated the money I made, the perks I had, and all the things that went with working cable. It was interesting and fun. I never made promises I couldn't keep, I worked quickly, and I was really good at putting out fires. Fires are customer issues that are burning so hot no one wants to touch them. I was the guy that ran toward the fires, I was a fixer. There were others like me but not everyone was. There were people that didn't care but most did. I think management philosophies drive a lot of the problems. Too much emphasis on the bottom line and less thought for customers and employees. This little peek into my life is just a slice of what happens everyday across the country. It's whats wrong with cable operators.

I'm giving serious consideration to getting back in the game. I loved working with customers and putting out fires. If you've ever had a bad experience similar to this I just want you to know that there are those out there that still give a shit. People that want to treat you like they want to be treated. People of honor and character. Remember it's the people on the phones, in your homes, and on the street that do the actual work. Before you rip one of them a new one, remember they operate within some tight confines and aren't' always responsible for your bad experience. Most will go out of their way to turn you around. I always wanted to walk away with you feeling warm and fuzzy and ready to tell someone about what a great experience you had. We're still out there, some of still care. I still care.

You Just Keep Swinging

You Just Keep Swinging

I haven't touch this blog in a year. The original plan was to write a longer narrative about moving to Oregon and all the adventures we had. Somewhere life got in the way and my attention was shifted to just surviving. I have mentioned that uprooting your life and moving across the country takes guts and a whole lot of “want to.” Getting established here has been harder. The only reason I'm back really is because a good friend of mine told me my writing was solid and that I probably had something to say. I'm not sure if either of those statements is true but I'll take it at face value and take a another crack at it.

I know that our forefathers came to Oregon to get a new start. The weather here is mild and the land fertile. There are plenty of farms away from the city that still live their lives like people did 100 years ago. A lot of them still think that way as well. I have found there are three kinds of people in Oregon: people from Oregon, people that live in Portland, and people from somewhere else.

The people that I have interacted with that tend to be born and raised in Oregon have a way about them. They can be stand-off-ish, passive-aggresive, and unfriendly as hell. Being from the South, that has been a hard thing for me to get my head around. Where I come from, people can be all those things but they tend to be in the minority. Here it can take a long time for people to warm up to you. They call it “breaking in.” We live close to a Albertson's grocery store. It's within walking distance and I go there all the time. One of the managers there just spoke with me about the weather a day ago. He even smiled. I almost had a heart-attack. I mean this guy has done nothing but glare at me for a whole year and now a couple of days before I am moving, he smiles and chats about the weather. That's Oregon. When I was first exposed to the phenomenon, I used to ask the person I was talking to if they were native to Oregon...I was always right. The signs are easy to spot once you know what you're looking for.

Portlanders on the other hand are completely different. They tend to be young. If they are older they swing more towards the hippy side of the spectrum. They have a youthful energy about everything and are passionate about a variety of different subjects. They tend to be open and easy to talk to. I can half difficulty connecting with them at times since it's such a swing from Oregoners. I have to concentrate really hard or spend a couple hours in the city. Either way, they are open and friendly for the most part, take a lot of pride in the city, and are a endless source of entertainment. If I could afford a decent place to live in Portland I would just to be next to these energetic people.

As for the rest of us, those that have come from other places to live here, we exist somewhere in the middle. I can usually tell when someone is from out of town. We tend to click right away. These types of people are usually people that have traveled somewhat and know how to make connections with others. There are a lot of people form California here. Oregoners hate people form California as a rule because they are driving the price of everything up so the story goes. I really don't know. I think natives hate anyone from out of town just as a rule. At least until the previously mentioned “breaking in” period has expired. Usually about a year or so.

I have been kicking around the idea of writing something like “A Noobs Guide to Portland” or some sort of survival guide for living here. There are so many things that we had to learn the hard way. Things as seemingly benign as knowing where the Tri-Met stops are and where they go. Are street cars really faster than walking? What are the rules regarding bikes and pedestrians? Are food carts safe to eat from? What are the best places to park downtown and how much should I pay? Basic things like that.

I haven't written this many words in a long time. This is a super high-level overview of what we have seen here. I have more stories about living here then I do about getting out here. We are moving to a new place tomorrow and as I write these words I am having a strong sense of dejavu. So I guess it was meant to be. Things are still tough for us but we are made of tough stuff. Starting your life from zero is always hard but sometimes it just has to be that way. I have no regrets about coming here. I don't know how long we will stay but if I leave it will be on my terms. Oregon will not spit me out, I will not allow it.

Keep the same mindset and follow your dreams. Don't ever be a slave to a life you hate or let the things you own, own you.