Training Day 1 – Let That Blubber Fly

 I got back from vacation on Friday. My family and I spent the week in Tennessee with my brother-in-law and his family. That meant there were eleven of us in a pretty good sized condo in the rolling hills of Pigeon Forge, Tennessee. Yes, the home of Dollywood. As dirty and touristy as the town (you too Gatlinburg) turned out to be, we had a good time. Of course there was the standard family brawl that we Merlin’s are so famous for. If we didn’t have at least one petulant child and pissed off parent, I’d think something was dreadfully wrong. That isn’t what this is really about; I just mention it because I figure anyone that has ever been on vacation with their family knows where I’m coming from.

Now my bro-in-law is a good guy named Tim. Going forward I will be referring him as TheProBum (@TheProBum on twitter if you’re interested), The Pro, The Bum, or maybe just Bum (you get the idea). Bum and I get along really well for some reason that doesn’t make sense to anybody. I stopped trying to make sense of it a long time ago. We have a lot in common and enjoy one another's company. Simple stuff.

I’m not sure how we got to talking about working out, we had gotten into the moonshine a little, but the subject came up. Now keep in mind Bum is in pretty good condition for an old guy (probably a young guy too) and I am pretty “fluffy” as they say (nice way of saying overweight and out of shape). It wasn’t always that way for me but it is for today. Somehow on the way back from Gatlinburg we came up with the idea of doing a vacation out west next year that would consist of some sort of climbing Eiger Sanction style. Obviously for that to work for me I was going to have to do some stuff.

What we concocted was that while we were training for the Eiger, we would blog about it and blow each other up on twitter. Trying to build a base of loyal followers that would enjoy watching me suffer and maybe reach my goal. I guess on the surface it sounds kind stupid but I have come to learn that you never know what happens to your words and deeds when you blow them off into space. There could be some other overweight, middle aged dude out there just looking for a reason to get off the couch and do something himself.

I promise to include plenty of video and pictures. I will also do my very best to provide something to make you laugh such as a nice shot in the nads (that never gets old). My blog will be rich with data and plenty of gripes about how old men love being naked in the locker room. A fun, low ball hanging good time for everyone.

Bum gave me a short term goal; 40 push-ups, 20 pull-ups, and 40 sit-ups daily. As of this morning, I can do 10, 1 (wouldn’t cut it at Parris Island), and 15. I currently weigh 237 lbs and have no idea what my body fat percentage is because my fat caliper needs a new battery. According to healthdiscovery.net a man my age, height, and build should weigh between 154 – 166 lbs. Now I weighed 160 when I was in high school so I don’t know how realistic that is but it’s a start. My Body Mass Index is currently 33.1 which according to nhlbisupport.com is: “Obesity = BMI of 30 or greater.” You wouldn’t think I was obese if you saw me but I’m definitely overweight. I take three types of medication for my blood pressure as well as something for indigestion. That’s the fast and dirty of it. There is lots of room for improvement.

I did go to the gym today and went 2 miles on the treadmill and did some very light weight training. I do loath the treadmill as I feel like a hamster but again, it’s a start. Anything more strenuous would blow out my knees and set me back even farther.

Today is training day 1. I have no idea how many training days there will be or where this road will lead but I like to hope it will end with me pulling a very fat George Kennedy up a mountain with a six pack of beer in my pack. If you don’t get the reference watch the movie. Wish me luck; I’m going to need every bit of it.

From The Past To The Future

I have been thinking a lot about my blog. From my lack of blogging it would be reasonable to assume I have thought about it for some time. When it began I had this grand scheme about building this great WOW character and becoming the greatest Paladin tank of all time. Unfortunately I just don’t have the bandwidth for that. I like playing the game, it helps me to unwind and power down from the day. Other than that it is a time gobbler. With all the children I keep throwing into the world, time is a premium. Time is the one thing that a person has that really has any value and the one thing you can’t get back. So spend it wisely.

Having said that, I am expanding my content to include anything and everything that comes to mind. I think a lot about things as I have gotten older and having new children in the middle of middle age sure has put a new twist on things.

I was sitting in a class a few weeks ago thinking about my life. I probably should have been paying attention but the chairs were iron maiden like and concentrating on anything other than how much pain I was in was damn near impossible. As I looked around the room it occurred to me how few real friends that I had. I’m not sure why this forum was the place for such musings, it just kind of happened. I developed a theory as to why people have fewer connections as they age, particularly men. We get stuck in the past.

The seeds of this idea were planted on another occasion where I was making small talk with a peer and was asked what type of music I listened to. It was such a random question (to me anyway) that I really had to fumble around for an answer. After a few minutes of biting into the air I made some lame reference to liking 80s music. When I started to really grind on that it occurred to me that we get stuck listening to the music of our youth because it reminds us of a time that once was and in most cases, was pleasurable. For me it was a time of no responsibilities and endless possibilities. My adult life is on the polar opposite of that and while I love the life I have built, it is full of facts and figures and has little room for dreaming. That has left me stuck in the long long ago, unable to move forward.

The other thing that came to mind was the idea that the future has become the present. The things that I did plan for and work towards have come to fruition and are now a part of my reality. Where do you go from there? If you have lost your ability to dream, then the number of places to go becomes very finite. So since you are now stuck in today with me, we cannot move into tomorrow. In fact, we can’t even see tomorrow. It just doesn’t exist anymore.

On the surface this may sound like a very negative message. Nothing could be further from the truth. It is a battle cry to break loose from the now, find your ability to dream again and put yourself out there in a new way. I have to admit, I still haven’t found all my dreams again but I know they are out there for me to rediscover. My changes are simple and small. They have to be to stick. They don’t always work and I find myself constantly trying to go back to what I know. Change requires a huge dedication and lot of concentration but anybody can do anything. Remember that if you remember nothing else. It all boils down to how badly you want something and what you’re willing to do. For me, I’m all in and I won’t quit till I reach that place just past the edge of tomorrow…