I would be remiss in my duties as a
writer if I didn't scribble a little something about Thanksgiving and
what I'm thankful for. There are the usual things of course; kids,
family, job, place to live, food, and that sort of thing. When I
really got to contemplating the notion of what made me happy and what
I was I gave the most thanks for, it had to be my wife.
I've heard plenty of young men say how
hard it is to find a good woman. There was a time when I might have
agreed with them. What I figured out over the course of some really
hard living was that good woman weren't actually hard to find at
all...if you're a good man.
I wasn't always a good man. I thought I
was but the reality was slightly different. I fought, boozed,
womanized, and thought only of myself for a good part of my life. I
met my bride when I was neck deep into living that life. She liked me
anyway. She was young too and I guess that whole “bad boy” thing
was attractive to her. Now my advice to woman that are attracted to
bad boys is that they might be a whole lot of fun to hang around with
but they make for terrible husbands. No, you can't change them
either. Despite your best efforts a person can only change when they
decide it's time...but that's the subject of another discussion.
She and I dated briefly and married,
bought a house and mashed ourselves into a life that neither one of
us was probably ready for. I knew she was the one when I met her so I
was pretty dedicated going in. Now I could tell a lot of stories
about those early years together. If you know me on any personal
level you've heard one or two of them. The point here is that
marriage takes a ton of work and wives are the foundations that the
relationship is built on. My wife gave me her heart and her
dedication and trusted me to make the right decisions and guide our
family in the right direction. Unfortunately that didn't happen al
the time. In fact, I made a ton of bad moves and took us into some
pretty mirky waters. Despite this, she stuck it out with me. Over and
over again she forgave, reset, and started over.
Years went by. I spent a lot of those
years concerned with my own agenda and my own needs. When a man is
that selfish, he slowly kills his wife's spirit. If it goes on long
enough she becomes a shell of herself and he's the one that did it.
All woman want to love and be loved. They want their men focused,
affectionate, and kind. I was none of those things but still she
stayed. Honestly, our faith is the only thing that held the fabric of
our tattered relationship in one piece.
There came a point where she had
reached her limit and basically told me she was going to move on to
greener pastures. That's what it took for me. I knew she meant it and
I had to decide what was important to me. I took a inventory of who I
was, where I was, and what I believed. I knew something had to give
so I started to make some changes. Hard ones at first but they paid
great dividends so I kept doing them. I worked on our
relationship...and worked...and worked some more. It took time but I
think I finally became the man I was supposed to be. Things got
better then things go better some more.
A long suffering woman is a gift from
God. I'm thankful for my wife. I'm thankful for the life she has
built with me, our children, and the unending supply of love she has
showered me with over the course of our relationship.
I haven't
deserved any of it.
I'm thankful we don't always get what we deserve.
I love you Kim.
I'm thankful for you.
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